Wednesday, 12 October 2011

People who name their kids after countries

I dont get why people name their kids after countries. It makes no sense. Why would anyone want to name their kid India or Kenya? Its sooo dumb. You might as well name your kid Pakistan or Czech Republic. Its just mean to your kid, I mean if its name was China how many racist jokes do you think they would get at school......... I guess some people think that country names sound "pretty" and "cute". NOT ME. Naming your kid something semi normal, but still a country like Milan, is the same as naming your kid something like Finland or Austria.
Come on are you really that uncreative that you cant think of a real name so you just name your baby after a country? Ive met someone named India, I just called her uzbekistan cause that might as well be her name.....also I know someone named rosemary, if your gonna name your kid that you might as well just call them kian pepper or nutmeg.

For ex. "South America, its time for dinner...." or "Equador do your home work!" or "Nighty night Afganistan, dont let the bed bugs bite" or "let the dog out Viatnam" or "Ground mustard did you forget to do the dishes again?" itttss a bit ridicalis........


kids theese days.......

Wednesday, 29 June 2011

GINGERS......why the hate?

I dont see whats so bad about them.....
Everyone says that they are sneaky, and have no souls, but I dont get it! I mean sure; they might look a little scary, but I think they're somewhat regular. In my opion there are much sneakier people in this world. For example FAT PEOPLE. Did you know they weigh less than the scale says, because of the snacks that they hide in their rolls? If thats not sneaky I dont know what is! I found out the other day, that gingers acctully go to the same hairdressers that we do! See kids, they are just as normal as anyone. So next time you see a ginger why dont you say "hi, would you like to come in for a cup of tea?" They might look a little shocked because they dont get asked too often but I'm sure they would be delieghted!



One thing I dont understand is why they are called redheads their hair isnt red.....its orange they should be called oarnge heads. And also why do they get so offended when you call them gingers? Ginger is orange and so is their hair. Thats that. We could call them carrots or sweatpotatoes or pumpkins but we just chose ginger. I really dont see whats so bad about it, its just a yummy food that tastes good on sushi and make good pop.

Monday, 27 June 2011

Tourists

Dumb tourists decide to come into my city and mosey around and do nothing but cause a ruccus. If they want to be here, why dont they live here?! I dont need them all up in my bissinuss while im trying to get stuff done!! They distrupt the way of life!! They all smell like airport. Can a person not get some nice fresh air without a wif of tourist?  Can they not be distruptive in their own town? COME ON people show some respect. Plus they come here and expect nothing but sympathy. "Oh can you help me find this place?" So what? Since I live here you expect me to know where everything is? ITS RACIST



Even though most of this is not really true it dosent change the fact that tourists should mind their own beesewax and stay in their houses!!

Monday, 13 June 2011

Costco

For all youse costco goers out there:

Next time you are at costco get one of those motorized wheelchairs at the front with the carts attached to them. Then you get to drive around in them and get your free samples and jumbo honey bunches of oats and you dont even have to walk! Its like a combonation of the 2 funnest things in the world; golf carts and costco. Occasionally you might get dirty looks from old people......but its totally worth it!

I did it when I was a cripple and couldnt do anything, IT WAS SO FUN! You get to barge through everyone and do whatever you want in a little mortorized cart and EAT FOOD.

Havee Funn!!!


BUT BEWARE......

Saturday, 11 June 2011

Cats

I hate cats and they hate me.

This person clearly does not agree........


Friday, 10 June 2011

VEGATARIANS

They are acctully all SO dumb.
I dont know how they can live without eating meat!
Maybe if they ate some meat, they wouldnt be so cranky all the time. Ive met some that wont even TOUCH leather. That is just so annoying, when I meet those kinds of veggie tariens I throw leather mittens at them and I yell "do you know what that is? its cow brains and guts and intestines and hoves and skin and eyeballs" then I telll them that, if I could, I would skin all the cows in the world with my bare hands.
Now vegans they just frustrate me so much I can barley write this without breaking my keyboard!
There are so many foods they dont eat, they might as well all just stop eating all together. Then they would all hopefully die of starvation. All they eat is like soy milk, and soy icecream. Well its not even ice cream if there is no cream in it. Its ice soy. There are enough vegetables in the world, why would you ever want to add them to unessary foods like chocolate milk. Its just offensive to brown cows.

I googled some reasons on why people want to be vegitariens/vegans

-Its mean to the animals
ANIMALS ARE MEAN TO PEOPLE! one time a chicken pecked a granola bar out of my hand and ate it. So now I eat him.

-Its "unhealty"
That is the biggest bunch of donkey dung I have ever heard, eating so much soy peas and quinoa is unhealthy for your brain, and for my nose. I dont need to be smelling your green mush with chickpeas while im eating my pork tenderloine with a side of dolphin fries.

WATCH THIS.....ESPECIALLY IF YOUR A VEGITARIAN

Wednesday, 8 June 2011

The Goodness of Tim Hortons

I AM IN LOVE
I go there every single day after school.
Im going to get them to cater my wedding.
Except I HATE IT when the workers get my order wrong all the timee!! because lets face it, have you ever met a tim hortons worker that acctully spoke english.....I havent. Like one time I was like "Can I have a bagel with cheese" and they we like "ya." and then, I go to get it and they said "what did you order?" and I was like "a bagel with cheese" and they were like "weeell we made you a bagel with butter...." and I was like "but I ordered cheese..." and then they were like "well you should probably just eat this one" so I ate it because I was just being friendly like a good canadian and welcoming them to the country......but seriously I DEMAND A REFUND!!
PLUUUSS THE BUTTER WASNT EVEN SALTED!! Like come on tim hortons you can do better than a costco tub of Becel. And to top it all off, when Im walking with my bagel, I got chased by a hobbo because he wanted my uncheesey bagel!!

hobbos theese days.....